Second Option?

Before I start my entry, I want to give a big thanks to a few of my friends (you know who you are). The past two weeks have been full of tests and a lot of stress over my marking period two grades. While trying to juggle life both inside and outside of school, I couldn't find the time to write. I love writing—it brings me great joy—but sometimes life just gets overwhelming.

Over the last week and this week, two or three of my friends have been consistently nagging me to write. On Monday, I promised one of them that I’d have it done and would post it. Today, she mentioned that someone had joked about me lying and not having it done, which made me chuckle. But it also motivated me to keep writing and reminded me how happy I am that people care about what I write and are interested in what I have to say. One of my friends even gave me that little spark I needed to get started on this piece.

Honestly, I wouldn't have sat down to write this if it weren't for those two or three people. So, thank you for giving me the much-needed motivation to write this week. And without further Ado I introduce my 8th entry. 

Do you ever feel like the second option, the last resort? The friend that everyone loves, but never the priority? Friends with everyone, yet without a best friend?

You don’t get texts unless you initiate the conversation. They don’t put in enough energy or give you the support and love you deserve. You show up, you listen, you support—but somehow, you’re always the afterthought. The one who’s there when they need you but forgotten when they don’t. The one who finds out about weekend plans after everyone else was invited.

It stings, and it slowly gnaws at your very being. You spend too much time wondering: Why them? What do I not have? What’s wrong with me? Am I not enough?

I'm not going to lie—sometimes we find ourselves in places where we aren’t valued. There will be moments when people don’t recognize your worth. You become the one they fall back on, the Plan B. It’s a hard truth to face.

But this isn’t about those people who are truly your friends. I mean, there are people in your life who will always support you, but you’re not their number one—and they’re not yours either. You both celebrate each other’s lives, and that’s okay. That’s understandable.

What really hurts is when someone replaces you with someone else, all because they think that person is "better."

You find yourself staying in a place where you're mistreated, maybe out of love or the hope that things will go back to what they once were. You keep waiting for the time when you and that person clicked, when everything felt right. But sometimes, you never click again.

You make excuses for their behavior—maybe they had a rough day, or maybe they'll include you next time. But at some point, you have to ask yourself: Why am I accepting crumbs when I could have the whole meal?

In life, the right people will stay. They’ll stick by you, never leave your side, and be there when you need them most. The ones who are meant to stay will, and the ones who aren’t will fall off.

Those people are just a shadow of what the bond once was. A distant place you can never return to. My mom always tells me, "It’s okay to have one golden friend, rather than a hundred fake ones." And it’s not even about fake friends—it's more about people who don’t prioritize you, people who don’t see your worth.

Them not valuing you isn’t a testament of your worth—it’s a reflection of where their priorities lie. Everyone deserves a friendship where they’re not just convenient, but truly loved. A friendship where they’re checked in on—not because someone has to, or because they’re bored, but because they genuinely care.

As the years go by, I lose friends and make new ones. Some stay, and some go. Some friendships hang on by a thread, while others weave into beautiful masterpieces.

Maybe it’s time for all of us to stop chasing hopes and fantasies of perfect relationships. It's time to step back and recognize our worth, our value. I’ve been cutting off friendships with people who don’t appreciate who I am and what I do for them.

If you ever find yourself in a position where you're that friend, make sure everyone feels included and loved. And yes, there will be times when others become a priority for you—and that’s okay. Just make sure your other friends feel the same level of love and that you reciprocate their time and efforts.

And in case no one has told you today—you are beautiful, you are valued, and you are loved. If this resonates with you a little too much, if it hits too close to home—just know this: you deserve better.

-AMS